


Bro Job

by Amuly



Series: America Isn't Chicken [2]
Category: Marvel 616, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Facials, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Roleplay, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:03:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1506461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuly/pseuds/Amuly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony overhears Sam use the word "Bro Job" during an argument with Izzy. This gives him the bright idea of a role-play scenario he could act out with Steve, harkening back to the foolish beginnings of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bro Job

**Author's Note:**

> (Set in the same universe as "America Isn't Chicken", but stands alone as a PWP)
> 
> Inspired by this post here explaining "[bro jobs](http://everybodyilovedies.tumblr.com/post/82811621806/dannyrandy-i-am-constantly-amazed-by-straight%20)"

  
  


“It was only a bro job!” Sam explained, pleaded. Izzy wasn't buying it, keeping her back turned to him defiantly. Damn it!

Then, as if things couldn't get _worse_ for Sam _already_ , a familiar voice called out “Bro job?”

Sam turned to Tony, eyes wide. Tony Stark—Tony _Stark_ , AKA out-and-proud bisexual leader of the Avengers. Or, technically he wasn't the leader. Captain America was the leader of the Avengers. Who was also known as Steve Rogers, Tony Stark's steady boyfriend. Also out-and-proud bisexual. Champion for truth, justice, and probably smacking stupid bigots like Sam upside the head for careless talk.

Sam grabbed self-consciously at his ears. He didn't want to get smacked around by Captain America.

Tony snapped his fingers in front of Sam's face, curious little smile flickering across his expression. “Hey. Kiddo. 'Bro job'?”

“It's, uh...” Sam's mouth opened and shut, but nothing close to words came out. Oh God. Captain America was going to yell at him. Iron Man was going to tell Captain America and _Captain America_ was going to yell at him. He'd probably tell Sam that he was _disappointed_ in him.

Luckily, Izzy was just the right levels of _over_ Sam's bullshit that she was happy to explain the term to Tony. “This _idiot_ frat-boy over here seems to think that he's a hundred percent straight. Even though he let Bobby give him a...” Izzy trailed off, like she was just realizing who she was talking to and what she was about to say. “A... uh... Oral... sex?”

Sam's brain was so broken all he could think to say was: “I was never in a fraternity.”

Tony was staring at the two of them like they'd just grown a second head. “A... Bro job. Is a heterosexual blow job. Between two men,” Tony repeated, slowly.

“It just... happened...” Sam protested meekly.

But Tony didn't seem to be listening, anymore. A strange light had gone off behind his eyes, like a plan hatching. A manic smile spread across his face.

“Sorry, I've got to go. Places to see. Captains to see. Plans. Unrelated. Plans. ” Two steps away from them, Tony stumbled over himself and turned back around. He wagged a finger at Sam. “Oh, uh. If you did that when you were dating Izzy, that's cheating. If not, it's just bi. Don't worry about it. And Izzy, you shouldn't worry if he's bi.” Tony paused, thinking. Then he waved his hands vaguely. “I don't know what the argument actually was. Sorry. Got to go. Talk it out. … Go team!” Then Tony was off, practically running through Avengers Tower.

Sam turned to Izzy. “What the heck was _that_ about?” he wondered.

Izzy glared at him. She folded her arms over her chest and drummed her fingers menacingly against her arm. Oh. Right. They were fighting. _Damn_ it.

* * *

 

Steve kicked off his boots alongside the expansive dresser that took up a quarter of a wall in their bedroom. He started emptying his pockets: wallet, keys, sunglasses, snickers bar... whoops. That was melted. One of the downsides of running hot as he did. Grimacing, Steve set the bar in their loose change bowl and made a note to put it in the freezer later. It would still be good, it just needed to resolidify.

Steve heard Tony's footsteps behind him before he even entered the room. Smiling to himself, Steve continued to empty his pockets, checking to make sure there was nothing left before going for his belt. Just as his fingertips grazed the buckle, Tony slid up behind him, hands covering Steve's own.

“Hey, just go with this, okay?” was the only warning Steve got before Tony was dragging him over to the bed by his belt. Steve grinned and shrugged to himself. He was pretty willing to “go with” whatever Tony had in mind.

Tony's tone of voice changed once he'd deposited Steve on the edge of the bed. It turned more casual, forced-relaxed, and a touch deeper, maybe. “So what are you up to tonight, Steve?”

Glancing around, Steve tried to figure out what answer Tony was looking for. He settled on the most vague answer he could, figuring Tony had something specific in mind.

“Nothing. Just relaxing. Unwinding.” Tony had wandered off to their TV against the far wall, fiddling with the remote. Steve wanted to get up and drag him back to bed with him, but he waited. Patience was a virtue, after all.

Their TV flickered on as Tony made his way back to their bed with the remote. It was on a general menu screen for now. Tony's grin was mischievous as he sat down alongside Steve on the bed. “Unwind, huh? I bet I know how you were going to do that.”

With a single click Tony changed the image on the TV. In the next second it was filled with a video of two women- Oh. Steve frowned. What was Tony thinking? At least it was a video Steve didn't mind. The ladies weren't too fake looking, and they seemed calm and happy as they kissed each other. But still: Steve wasn't exactly interested in looking at some strange women on a screen when he had Tony, warm and handsome and the man that he was in _love_ with, sitting right next to him.

Tossing the remote aside, Tony sat alongside Steve, ostensibly watching the video. After a moment he nudged Steve's foot with his. “Well? You gonna unwind? Don't mind me.”

Steve still wasn't sure what Tony was heading for, here. Far from being erotic, this scenario was reminding Steve uncomfortably of the first time the two of them had gotten off in front of each other. Or, well: the first time they had gotten off in the same room together. The phone sex incident probably was their “first time”, if you counted things like that. As it was, Steve wasn't sure he wanted to be reminded of that confusing and uncomfortable time in their relationship, before they realized the depths of their feelings for each other, both emotional and sexual.

Then, in a tone faintly reminiscent of a frat boy, Tony announced: “Well, if _you're_ not going to enjoy these two hot chicks, you won't mind if _I_ do.” The sound of his zipper was loud in the room, over the low-volume of the women on the TV. Steve glanced over and took in the sight of Tony's erection as he pulled it out of his pants and started stroking. Well, okay. It wasn't _too_ strange. And it wasn't like Tony ever asked Steve for something kooky like this. Steve could be willing to go along with this odd desire of Tony's for one night.

Steve wondered if he should do that voice Tony was doing. In the end he settled on sounding like himself, only maybe a little bit more gruff. “Hang on. Can't be comfortable like that,” Steve grunted. “I'll get some slick.”

“Nice, thanks, dude.”

Halfway off the bed, Steve stopped and turned back to Tony. Silently he mouthed the word “dude?” Tony squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment and shook his head. He waved Steve off, silently communicating “keep going, ignore me, just go with it”. Steve bit back a laugh and turned back to the task of getting some lube.

“You don't mind splitting it, do you?” Steve grunted. He was grunting everything tonight. He hoped that was what Tony was going for.

Tony shrugged. “Sure. Not like it makes it gay or anything. Just two guys sharing some lube.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at Tony as he grabbed the well-used bottle of lube from their dresser drawer. So this _was_ harkening back to their initial, terrible fumblings at a relationship, and their ill-advised game of gay chicken. Steve couldn't fathom why Tony would want to return to that, for a little bit of sexy fun. But still... it was Tony, and he asked for so little from Steve. And who knew? Maybe it'd be fun. Steve returned to the edge of the bed with Tony and tossed him the lube.

“There you go. Uh...” Steve licked his lips, mind strategizing. “Don't use it all up. I need some, too.”

“Oh, you're gonna join me, now?” Tony asked cheekily. After squeezing too much lube on his dick, he passed the bottle back over to Steve. Their fingers brushed. Tony acted like he didn't want to acknowledge it, looking away in feigned embarrassment. Okay. Right.

“Might as well,” Steve said with a shrug. He squeezed some lubricant on his own penis and started stroking it. Tony had his eyes fixed on the TV, like he was enjoying watching the skinny young women kiss. Steve had eyes only for Tony, though he supposed he should at least _try_ to fake disinterest. It was harder than he might have imagined, to pry his eyes away from such an attractive sight. Still, Steve had overcome more trying challenges of mental fortitude before.

“These women sure are... hot,” Steve commented. His dick was getting hard, at least. That wasn't too difficult when he could see Tony masturbating himself next to him, jerking his penis in his fist.

“Damn straight,” Tony commented. Then he snorted, and choked. Steve bit his lip as Tony fought his way through a laugh, trying his damnedest to stamp it out. “Damn straight”: Tony was a real cornball, sometimes.

After he got his giggles under control, Tony coughed one more time to clear his throat. Then he suggested, oh-so-casually: “Hey, Steve, why don't I suck your dick?”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Tony. “Wouldn't that be kind of gay?” Steve mentally patted himself on the back. He was getting the hang of this.

Tony snorted. “No way. It's just a bro job. I suck yours, you suck mine, just helping a bud out.”

_Bro job_ . Steve had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing. A  _what_ ? Was that a  _real_ thing? Should he ask? No, it couldn't be a real thing. Tony had to be making it up for the purpose of this whole... gay chicken revisit. 

Steve glanced over at Tony, to find he was staring back at Steve. Slowly Tony licked his lips, then winked. Steve grinned before he suppressed the response. He shrugged oh-so-casually. “Yeah, sure, I mean. If it's just a... 'bro job'.”

“Awesome. Hey, wipe your dick off. I don't want to get lube in my mouth,” Tony told Steve as he dropped to the floor on his knees.

Obediently Steve picked up a corner of their sheets and wiped the lube off his erection. It twitched, as Tony settled himself between Steve's legs, mouth already open in anticipation. Steve sucked in a breath through his nose and spread his legs wider, inviting Tony in. Blow jobs weren't his favorite thing (he couldn't get close enough to Tony during them) but Tony sure was a sight, hair ruffled and pink lips wet inside the dark perimeter of his beard. Tony's hands crept up to Steve's thighs and rubbed them sweetly, just for a second, before dropping back into his persona.

“Now you gotta swear you'll blow me back, right?” Tony warned Steve. “You _gotta_ blow me back, otherwise it makes me gay.”

“But if we blow each other it's not gay?” Steve asked. One of Tony's hands wrapped around the base of his dick, the other rolling at his balls. Steve hummed and closed one eye, waiting for Tony to get on with it.

“Nah. Then it's just a friendly assist. Bros and...” Tony hesitated, apparently lost in the logic of fraternity boys, without a way out. He squinted and opened and shut his mouth a couple times, trying to come up with an answer that made a lick of sense. Finally he shook his head and grinned up at Steve. “You know. _Bros_.”

Steve stuck his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. After a long moment he finally choked out “ _Bros_ ” in response.

Tony seemed to take _that_ , of all things, as the go-ahead, because he grinned and bent down to the task at hand. With the first lick against the tip of his penis, Steve was sighing and leaning back. Blow jobs might not be his favorite, but Tony sure knew how to give them. As Tony wrapped his lips over the head of Steve's dick and sucked lightly, Steve reached a hand down to thread through Tony's thick hair. Tony moaned a little bit in approval.

Being the one with the unoccupied mouth, Steve figured maybe Tony would want him to keep up this whole “bro job” premise they were going with. Swallowing thickly as Tony slid his way down his dick, Steve managed to observe: “You're really good at this. Give a lot of bro jobs?”

Tony released Steve's dick with a smack and pumped it firmly as he grinned up at him. “No way. I'm not gay, you know. Just figured we could help each other unwind, today.” Tony bent his head back to the task at hand. Then, to completely contradict his previous claims, he opened his throat and slid _all_ the way down Steve's dick. Steve hissed and thrust up, hand tightening in Tony's hair. Tony pulled back for a second, long enough to breathe through his nose and wink up at Steve. Then he was sinking back down, taking Steve's length down his throat.

Grabbing onto Tony's hair with both hands, Steve started fucking up into Tony's mouth—because that was what Tony wanted him to do, after all. Sure enough, Tony moaned around his dick, vibrations shuddering through Steve's sensitive nerves and lighting him up, outside in and inside out. He grunted as he fucked faster up into Tony's throat.

“I think you're lying,” Steve tried. He wasn't sure where Tony wanted this to go from here, but he could take a guess. Tony'd tell him if he was doing it wrong, Steve was sure. “I think you give bro jobs to everyone. No one's this good at it on their first go. But it's okay.” Steve tugged at Tony's hair, pulling him back so only the tip of his cock was in Tony's mouth, spit-wet lips wrapped wide around it. Steve grinned down at him. “It's okay. I give a lot of bro jobs, too. Kinda becoming an expert at it, myself.”

Pushing down on Tony's hair, Steve tossed his head back as he returned to fucking up into Tony's hot, wet mouth. “You be a good... uh... bro, and get me to ejacu- … uh... come. Suck me off and I'll help you out, too. Er. Give you a good bro job, right back atchya.”

Tony was _laughing._ He was _laughing_ , with Steve's dick in his mouth, as he tried to lick and suck his way down Steve's dick. The vibrations felt great on his erection, but the laughter was more off-putting. Steve lifted his head up so he could glare down at Tony. Hey, he was _trying_ , here. It wasn't his fault he was never in a fraternity. Heck, he was _frozen_ for most the time the culture Tony was referencing had arisen.

But Tony was _really_ good at deep throating, so that was enough to soothe Steve's wounded ego. For now. Steve sighed and leaned back once more, hips fucking up into Tony's mouth, down his throat. Tony pulled back for a moment to catch his breath, fist jerking quick and tight over Steve's dick as he cracked his neck. “You won't shoot down my throat, right?” Tony asked, in-character. “That'd be gay. To eat your jizz.”

Steve patted too-lovingly at Tony's thick hair, smoothing down the wild knots he himself had caused. “Sure thing. Wouldn't want to do that. I'll let you know before I... 'jizz'.”

“Mad awesome,” Tony replied with a wink. Then he lowered his head back down and sucked Steve in again. His tongue spent some time working the head, dipping into the slit, while his fist continued to pump at the base of Steve's cock. Then he sank down again, taking Steve's full length down his throat, nosing into the blonde patch of pubic hair at the base. Steve hissed and fucked up gently, taking in the sight. He loved the contrast of Tony's dark beard hair mixed in with his lighter pubic hair. Steve moved a hand from Tony's head to his cheek, stroking at the edges of his goatee. Tony moved one hand to Steve's thigh, fingers digging in as he concentrated on not gagging.

A groan escaped Steve's mouth before he could stop it, but then he figured it wouldn't be “gay” to moan. He was receiving oral sex, after all. Tony rubbed his tongue firmly over the underside of his dick, and Steve groaned again, louder this time. As Tony's fingers dug into his thigh harder, Steve noticed that he wasn't jerking himself off. That was different: usually Tony got so turned on when he was performing oral sex that he couldn't help but jerk himself off—oftentimes finishing up before Steve even had a crack at him. He had an erection—it was hanging out of his pants, red and leaking, staining his jeans. But he wasn't touching it. Steve supposed that would be too “gay”.

“I'm gonna... uh...” Steve tapped at Tony's shoulder, trying to figure out a non-gay way of telling the guy giving him oral sex that he was preparing to ejaculate. “I'm gonna... ah, shoot, Tony. Shoot! That's it! That: I'm gonna 'shoot', Tony!”

Tony pulled back at the last second, fist jerking hard and fast over Steve's cock. His mouth was hanging open, eyes glinting mischievously as he looked up at Steve. Hands digging into the mattress, Steve fucked up into Tony's tight, wet hand until he came, spurting ejaculate all over Tony's fist and face. Tony's eyes fluttered shut as he lapped at the come that had hit around his mouth, swallowing the droplets with a moan. Then his eyes snapped back open and he winked, just once, before jumping away.

“Sick, dude! You should have warned me sooner! Now I got jizz all over my face! Gross.”

Eyeing Tony up as he gasped his way through the aftershocks of his orgasm, Steve worked hard to reboot his brain. After a moment he panted: “Sorry, bro. Why don't you come over here and I'll make it up to you?”

Stomping in mock-indignation over to the bed, Tony threw himself down on top of it with a huff. “You better!” he grumbled up at the ceiling. “You owe my face!”

A wicked little thought flickered across Steve's mind, with the sight of Tony lying face-up on the bed, Steve's come spotting his cheeks. Crawling over to Tony, Steve settled on top of him, stroking his cock gently with his left hand. “I can clean you up... bro,” Steve offered. “Get all that gross... jizz off your face.”

“Yeah, you better!” Tony huffed.

Leaning down, Steve licked at Tony's face, swallowing up all the little drops of come that had managed to hit him. Tony's mouth was hanging open in anticipation, chest rising and falling faster as Steve continued to steadily jerk him. Steve ignored the temptation of Tony's mouth, though, figuring it'd go against the whole “bro job” fantasy.

When Tony's face was clean Steve pulled back, faintly breathless. Tony wasn't doing much better. “There you go, bro,” Steve whispered. He traced a thumb along Tony's cheekbone. “All clean.”

“Thanks,” Tony croaked.

Glancing down between them, Steve checked out the state of Tony's erection. It was leaking pretty steadily, easing his hand along with all-natural lubricant. This was going to be over quick—Tony barely had patience on a good day, and now he was all worked up from giving Steve the blow job. It wouldn't take long.

Tony spread his legs wide as Steve settled between them. Steve tapped at Tony's calf, encouraging him to hook one leg over his shoulder to give Steve better access. He did, after a moment, back arching as Steve leaned in close to breathe hot air over his dick.

“Now you gotta promise to warn me, too,” Steve told Tony. He grinned up at him, one hand holding firmly at the base of Tony's erection. “About when you're about to... blow.” Tony's breath hitched at the minor slang, and Steve gave himself a mental pat on the back. “I don't want your junk in my stomach, either.”

“Will do,” Tony promised him. With that, Steve bent his head and got to work.

Tony was much louder than Steve: much more of a showman in general. He groaned as Steve first took him into his mouth. He moaned as Steve worked the head with his tongue and lips, keeping his right hand secure around the base. He cried out as Steve took him more fully into his mouth, sliding down until just before his gag reflex would kick in. Steve could deepthroat, too, he just needed to brace himself for it a little more than Tony.

Then Tony started talking. And Steve had to concentrate on not letting go on Tony's dick just so he could laugh.

“Aw yeah, you're so good at giving head. Suck that dick, bro,” Tony panted. “You must be giving out bro jobs left and right, to every buddy you got, to be this good.” Steeling himself, Steve lowered himself further down on Tony's erection, sucking it into his throat. Tony groaned and grabbed at the sheets, twisting them up in his fists. He started babbling near immediately. “Oh, fuck, Stev- bro. _Bro_ you feel so amazing, around my dick... wanna shoot down your throat _shit_ I can't shoot down your throat _fuck_ this game is stupid I want to quit if I quit can you swallow my come _no_ never mind fine I'll just blow all over your face _ugh_ why did I even think this was a good idea you're so fucking amazing damn it Steve I love you-”

Steve pulled off Tony's erection because he couldn't _help_ laughing, now. He jerked Tony roughly as he cleared his throat. “You made fun of me for _barely_ breaking character and this is how you act five seconds into your half?”

Tony groaned, hips arching up into Steve's hand. “Nooo I don't _care;_ all jokes at your expense I take back, just suck me down again and let me fuck your mouth.”

“Sure thing, _bro_ ,” Steve snorted as he bent back to the task at hand.

Tony's hands shot down to tangle themselves in Steve's short hair, pushing his head down further onto his dick. He _ground_ his hips up, against Steve's face, moaning the whole while. Steve let himself be manhandled, happy to submit to Tony when he was like this: aroused and desperate, in love with Steve and loving what Steve could do to him.

“ _Ungh..._ yes, Steve, bro, whatever, yeah. Ugh, your mouth feels so good around me, taking my dick. You're super good at bro jobs, like holy _hell_ , _so_ good at bro jobs-”

Steve buried his face in Tony's groin, forcing his throat to stay loose and relaxed around Tony's penis. He snuffled his nose against Tony's carefully-manicured pubic hair for a moment. He'd smile if he could, with a mouthful of Tony-penis.

Tony tapped rapidly at his shoulder. “Okay, okay, okay bro: I'm gonna blow, I'm gonna shoot, back up back up back up-”

Steve slid his mouth of Tony's penis, jerking it lazily as he waited. Tony was so close it took only a couple easy strokes before he was shouting, coming all over Steve's face. Steve smiled ruefully and, after wiping his hand on the sheets, started to clean the come off his face with tongue and fingers. He sucked a particularly large glob of come off his thumb, locking eyes on a panting and spent Tony as he did. Tony groaned and threw an arm over his eyes, body twitching feebly. “You're too hot, stop it,” he whined.

They stripped themselves lazily, Steve padding into the bathroom to shove his clothes in the laundry basket. Tony left his clothes on the floor around their bed, like the spoiled rich kid he was. Steve rolled his eyes and joined him in the bed, lying down alongside Tony, who was on his back with his arms behind his head, smiling contentedly up at the ceiling.

“Okay. Do I even _want_ to ask?” Steve turned to Tony, propping himself up on one elbow.

Tony started laughing and took a minute to get himself under control, belly shaking and tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“Sam and Bobby,” Tony explained, breathlessly.

Steve frowned. “I thought Sam was stepping out with Izzy. Jessica said when we were in space-”

Tony shook his head. “They are. I think. They were. But I walked in on a fight between Izzy and Sam—still don't know what exactly it was. But he was explaining to her that it was 'just a bro job'. And, well, context clues—and a particularly irate Izzy—filled in the rest.”

Steve frowned harder. “Was Sam cheating on Izzy?”

“I don't know. I didn't find out.”

“Was Sam being homophobic? Was _Izzy_ being homophobic?”

Tony rolled over to Steve and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I don't know. I heard the word 'bro job' and my brain basically short-circuited with the possibilities. I found you as soon as I could.”

“We should find out what's going on, there,” Steve pointed out. Tony was squirming against him, running fingerpads and lips over sensitive parts of his body as an attempt at distraction. Steve wasn't going to let it work. “If anyone on our team has a problem with homosexuality or bisexuality, we need to nip that in the bud. And if Izzy and Sam are having a problem, well: we should less-formally handle that situation. We don't want personal problems endangering our Avengers in the field.”

“Right, like _that's_ never happened before...” Tony snorted.

Snaking a hand down, Steve reached behind Tony to pinch his ass. Tony yelped and then giggled, pressing himself more firmly against Steve. “Oh, _Steve_ ,” Tony purred. “I didn't know you were ready for round two.”

Steve snorted. “I could be. You, on the other hand...”

Tony gasped. “You're calling me old. You, the guy who is either pushing fifty or a hundred and _ten_ , depending on which way you slice things, is calling _me_ , the _thirty-_ ”

“You wish-”

“- _forty_ something—low forties, okay, _early_ forties—old! I'm hurt, I really am.”

Scooping up Tony in his arms and ignoring his not remotely serious protests, Steve deposited an armful of wriggling billionaire onto the pillows at the head of the bed. He swooped down to press a long kiss to Tony's lips, then sighed. “I've been waiting to do that all evening,” he mumbled against Tony's lips.

Tony hummed his agreement, reaching a hand up to tug Steve back down, kissing and kissing him until they were both panting and Steve, at least, was halfway ready to go again. Glancing down between them, however, put an end to that thought. Steve looked pointedly back up at Tony. “Getting old,” he teased.

Tony glared. “Super soldier. It's not _age_ , it's that I can't keep up with the _pinnacle_ of human _perfection_. Geeze.”

Steve laughed and bent back down to kiss any of Tony's insecurities away. When he broke the kiss he laid down next to Tony, stroking a loving hand over the arc reactor in his chest.

“I'm still going to have a word with Sam,” Steve mumbled against Tony's shoulder.

“Mmkay,” Tony hummed. “Don't start off with the Cap frowny face. Don't want the poor guy to wet himself. It's probably just a misunderstanding.”

“Still, he shouldn't be using such... loaded language,” Steve grumbled. “He's an Avenger, after all. He represents this organization-”

“-and everyone on earth knows this organization is one hundred percent on the side of L-G-B-T-X-Y-Z rights,” Tony purred. “I mean, its leaders are two out bisexuals in a committed relationship with each other.”

Steve's ears perked up. He lifted his head to look down at Tony. “Committed?” he asked hopefully.

“I'm still not marrying you,” Tony grumbled. “It'd totally jinx it. One of us would get killed during the vows.”

Steve settled back down against Tony with a smile and a sigh. “I'll talk you into it one of these days,” he promised.

“You'd have to trick me into it.”

“I _am_ friends with a lot of master spies,” Steve pointed out. “You shouldn't challenge me like that. Maybe I'm not Captain Subtlety, but I'm sure Natasha or Bucky would be happy to help.”

“Challenge retracted,” Tony yawned against Steve's chest. “Stop trying to marry me, you big sap. We're together, you've got me. The whole world knows it.”

“Alright.” Steve pressed a kiss to Tony's hair and smiled. A conversation for another day. _After_ he had a stern conversation with Sam.

“No Cap-frown,” Tony mumbled. “Scare Sam.”

Steve sighed and smoothed his forehead out. Right. After he had a _normal_ conversation with Sam. A conversation between colleagues. Steve could do that without seeming too judgmental or disappointed.

Steve thought about this for a long moment. “Maybe _you_ should talk to Sam, first,” he finally acquiesced. “You're right: I don't want to come down too hard on him for a throw-away comment. Just... make sure he understands that as an Avenger, what he says carries weight. And find out what exactly the argument with Izzy was about, so we can handle that appropriately.”

“I'll make sure I thank him, too,” Tony murmured happily.

Steve flushed. “Don't... don't do _that_.”

Tony laughed himself straight into sleep. Steve followed him a short enough while after.

 


End file.
